Kill Dead Words and Mesmerize Amazon Shoppers…

Visit any Amazon catalog page and you will soon be facing a sea of dead words that could send a glass eye to sleep.  What do I mean?  Let’s dig right in to find out…

Here’s a bullet point for you:

  • With a beginner-friendly interface, Cozmo is the perfect educational robot for kids and adults to learn to creatively code


Hey Johnny, why do you want a Cozmo for Christmas? 

“Ah mommy, because it has a beginner-friendly interface and is the perfect educational robot for kids and adults. Oh and what I really want to do with all my friends is creatively code.”

Here is a picture of Cozmo:

Looks fun to me, but where is the fun language? 

If I was a five-year-old, I wouldn’t be thinking about creative coding much. 

So, this is an example of where the copywriting doesn’t match the product or the buying mood.  The mood of the buyer either needs to be matched by the listing, or the listing needs to affect the buyer’s mood accordingly – whichever way there needs to be harmony. 

Let’s look at how we do that now.


Here’s what people are saying who bought the product – notice the language…

My son has been begging for Cosmo since last Christmas. Reluctantly I gave in and got him Cosmo this year for Christmas. I’m glad I did. This little robot is awsome. The things he can do will surprise you.

Begging, reluctantly gave in, glad I did, little robot, awesome, surprise.

Here’s another…

He is just so darn cute! Amazing how much personality can come out of a basic digital screen and funny voice.  He is easy to have fun with right out of the box. We love it when he sings a song.  He will just do his own thing if you don’t actively play something with him, which is fun to watch. Plus he is just so cute you can’t help but want to turn him on and play with him!

Darn cute, amazing, personality, funny voice, fun right out of the box, we love, sings, fun to watch, want, turn him on and play.

So, he’s fun, amazing, packed with personality, and cute… okay.  I’ll quickly write a bullet using this language and compare to the original, see which engages the buyer most.  (By the way, I’m doing this as I type, so don’t expect Shakespeare).

Original Bullet:

  • With a beginner-friendly interface, Cozmo is the perfect educational robot for kids and adults to learn to creatively code

My Bullet:

  • Packed with fun right out of the box, he’ll be singing, dancing, doing his own thing with ease, kids will be begging for you to put the Playstation away, and you’ll be glad you did.  He’s full of surprises and is darn cute; your kids will think he’s awesome.

Here I use the language written by shoppers so that it speaks to them in their words.  They want to buy something their kids are going to enjoy playing with.  It’s going to be running around their feet as they jump with joy. It’s going to run over their toes as they squeal with excitement.  

That’s one way to help you convert more orders and create differentiation.  If I was also selling Cozmo, and the price was the same, and all other things were equal which content would get more orders?  

Here’s one other tip that you’re gonna love or hate.  Either way, it works.  Hypnosis.  Ah but hold on, wait, we are dancing faster than the music. 

What are you wearing right now? 

Hey, Heath, this is getting kinda creepy, where’s this going?

It’s okay, nothing weird, promise…

Let’s think of sunshine, birds tweeting and hopping around your feet picking up crumbs from under a table, perhaps there’s the scent of your favorite flowers drifting on the breeze…

…and make sure they’re the right color. 

So, what are you wearing right now?

Congratulations.  You’ve just been hypnotized.

The Power of Hypnosis… in your Amazon Listing

Heath, I wasn’t hypnotized at all.  I know.  We are talking micro-hypnosis, not stick a needle in your arm and don’t feel anything, hypnosis.  Ethics, should I hypnotize shoppers?  Well, the best Ad Agencies do, it’s just that you don’t notice it.  Let me give you some examples…

You’re at a theater to see a famous hypnotist.  You’re called on to the stage and as you walk towards that very famous hypnotist, you notice the dark crowd murmuring, the bright spotlights, the black clothing, and as you near, the hypnotist shakes your hand.  But they do something different, something with their thumb, and in the back of your mind, a little voice is saying “what, what’s happening here, something with the thumb, what was it?” but then you’re asked a question and you forget the thumb.  “What color did you say it was again?”



The job of the hypnotist is to distract the rational thinking mind away from its thoughts and either confuse it a little or give it things to consider and then change tact before it gets chance to grab hold of the conversation.  No, not black.

Was it your socks that you were thinking about earlier?

My job as a copywriter is to entice a shopper into buying your product.  They are more likely to do this if they feel connected to it, if they have a deeper interaction with it, and the way to do this is through sounds and images.

The brain transfers data between its hemispheres depending on what it is looking at. When we read words, we speak them in our mind so that they become sound.  Little children mouth words that they are reading for this very effect.  Sounds (or images) enter the left side of the brain from the right so that sense is made of them.  When we write in a manner that can be read in the way a shopper speaks, it makes the conversion from words to sense far faster and felt more deeply. 

When we use rhyme and alliteration the sound turns into music which the brain loves to play with.  When words are supporting images, such as with graphic design or bullets that are next to the images, if they reinforce one another they strengthen the connections we make and messages become super-powerful.

I will now show you a couple of examples and then talk a little more about hypnosis. 

I wrote the EBC content for Easyology’s pet products.  Although they wanted serious content in the above image, they like my fun writing better (see example below) because I chose the angle of selling to the cat rather than the shopper.  Just another way of creating differentiation.

In the above example we have rhyme and/or alliteration in each of the opening taglines, which helps create sound in our brain, which is something that goes deeper into our being than simply writing content like this:

“Need a large cat litter mat?

This will catch any stray dirt

Voted No.1 on Amazon”

If you can’t think of rhyme or alliteration, you don’t need it if there’s an image present, or if your words create an image, just as long as it all makes sense when the brain tries to organize the data into something meaningful.  It will enter the brain in the same way. 

So, there are many micro-elements of interaction and ways of leading a buyer through your product the way you want.  And it goes unnoticed because it is read fast – and that my friend is the equivalent of the hypnotist’s weird handshake; it causes the thinking mind to be distracted for a micro-second, as it internalizes what has just been read.


And when I count to three you will…

I am a qualified clinical hypnotherapist & NLP specialist.  I am not recommending that you suddenly check out Google and begin using hypnosis in your listings!  What I am suggesting is that you use the principle of leading the reader through images and sounds by the words that you use.  Here’s an example of something I wrote for a Pizza Paddle.

A line or two of a story helps to transport the buyer away somewhere in their imagination (micro-hypnosis), it engages them with powerful images, sounds, and feelings – and when shoppers are making decisions within moments these micro-seconds of hypnosis begin to make a difference.  


If you use dead words your listing will begin to look gray like almost every other.  Words such as “Premium Quality”, “We care about our customers”, “we use only the best products”… yawn.  Were you convinced by any of that?  

Using words that ignite the brain’s capacity to imagine, and content that makes it easier for the brain to uncover meaning, are all more likely to entice the buyer to purchase your product.  We want to engage with the shopper unconsciously because it is the unconscious mind that forms our decisions, despite what the rational analytical mind thinks. If the buyer begins to see themselves transformed in the way that they hope, they are more likely to identify with your product and brand, and have a more powerful emotional interaction with your listing.

Better than being dull and boring. 

Now, all you have to do is write it.


Can I do it for you?

Maybe.  But first…

I’m off to eat pizza and drink rosé.

Until next time…


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